God's Work In Me

I don't necessarily consider myself someone who boasts about the things happening in her life. However, this is something that has been happening to me recently and I wanted to share it with my faithful readers. These things have been churning in my heart for some time... the initial story began to play out in my life in mid-May. And now, as we knock on the door of the second week in September, God is still moving in me and I want to share these things with you...

Below are excerpts from an email that I sent my a few of my dear friends and prayer partners back in mid-May about somethings that were happening in my life... it was subject: Gods Work in Me!

"I can't tell you how exciting it is to be in the thick of the action of God's Plan! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing God's plan played out for others, but to be right where he wants you, and to KNOW it without a shadow of a doubt, is literally the best of both worlds!!

I've been involved in my women's bible study since September. Starting in Feb or March, I began to sub for our groups leader, Susie, who traveled a couple of times etc. At the time, she asked the group if anyone wanted to sub for her and no one spoke up. I thought about it and thought it would be fun, but didn't give it much thought. Until she called me out, and asked if I would take it on and try it. So I did. I taught the group 2 or 3 times during our Mary and Martha study, and overall, I enjoyed it but just didn't really feel a HUGE calling to do it. I knew it would be a lot of work for my busy schedule and just didn't feel a 'hand" on it, blessing it.

Until about 2 weeks ago... I've never been great with my devotions. Just can't find the time, and can't stick with a book or study long enough to see it through. I'm not consistent at all. But something has changed since I returned from CT and WA. I'm not super great at it, but have done devotions more in the last 6 weeks than I have in a long time. Reading a book, reading the Bible, putting real time to study and enjoying it. Not feeling like it's taking me all day but really enjoying my quiet moments, regardless if they are 30 or 10 minutes.

About 2 weeks ago, I sat down with a book I've picked up many times. Each time, I leave the book only after a few pages because it's a "hard" read. Something that really hits my core. But this book was talking about me as a woman, and my place in Christ's family. I also had another book that I was thumbing through, by Joyce Meyer. Going through both books, and trying to find a footing in what I wanted to read. I was reading a passage in the JM book and I heard God's voice... A literal, clear as day words. The words I'd heard only ONE other time in my life. The words that said to me "you can do this". I knew what He was saying to me. He was giving me all the confidence that I needed to step out on the ledge to lead a Bible Study... WHAT?? Are you sure?? As soon as I heard the voice, I got down on my knees, literally, and prayed earnestly for a clear "second call". "Are you sure? Are you sure you want me to do this? If so, make it so clear to me!"

Whoa, what had just happened? I told my husband and he was pretty proud of me. But what do I do now? Do I run and tell Susie that I'm ready? I would wait, for 2 weeks, and continue to pray for confirmation and confidence. If God wanted me to do this, he wouldn't let me step out of it. He would make it clear.

I'd studied that week and researched for some new material for our Bible Study in the fall. I came across several things that I thought were interesting. But one title and theme kept coming back, "Hearing God's Voice" and disciphering God's Voice in your life. But those were not really the themes that the group wanted to do. They wanted to do something ends times related, and they wanted to do a super in depth study. When we went to Bible Study that week, I offered a few suggestions of what I'd found, but didn't feel that any of them were right for the group and what we "wanted" to do. Soon then, my pal, Jen spoke up regarding a book that she had recently read and loved, call the Sacred Echo by Feinberg. This book is about hearing God's voice, and hearing God's Echo, the echo that we hear when he tells us something not just once, but over and over in our lives. I was blown away. Could this be a coincidence? Weird!!

The week went by, and I still hadn't told Susie of my hearing encounter. I knew a time would come that would be appropriate. This past Tuesday, I arrived at Bible Study, late with a red blotchy face, and tear stained makeup. Jen knew something was up, and I knew Susie did too. But it wasn't the time to spill my guts about what was happening privately in my life at the moment. We studied our last chapter before our "summer break". We prayed and I felt the push. Almost a literal push to pull Susie to the side and reveal to her my heart. As we stepped to the side of room, my heart and eyes welled up with tears, as I realized what I was about to say... I was about to surrender what I knew God was saying to me. So I told her. I was ready to lead... at least I was ready to try. I had a couple of ideas of how I thought it might work. But I was ready.

Susie's eyes lit up. And her fountain began to overflow and share that within the past 48 hours she'd also "been given" insight of how to lead the group. That perhaps there was a way to split our large 15 member "small group" into two group successfully without breaking friendships and tearing the group apart. A church facility had been suggested to us (as we occasionally have location troubles due to a need for child care and separate rooms for that, allergies and home disasters) that we could use on a weekly bases for free that has accomidating nursery facilities for our kiddos and child care workers. This location would allow the large group to meet together and then allow the group to break into other rooms for a "small group" study of the same lesson. I had originally not invisioned myself leading a study on my own. I just didn't think that I could do it right out of the gate while being successful. I really wanted to "apprentice" under Susie. But being together in the same facility would give us the ability to tag team some of the studies and to continue to learn from each other. She had even bigger dreams for our group of 15... bigger than I could have imagined.

God is Moving... and I am proud to say, I'm involved and ready. I'm not sitting on the side lines this time, and not cheering from the stands. I am hearing clearly, obeying and excited about the craziness that he's asking us to trust him with!!"

Since writing this email back in May, things continue to plug along. We are still on track to study Margaret Feinberg's "The Sacred Echo", which I adore. It puts meaning and explanation to many of the "echos" I've heard in my life, and really makes me examine how I respond to God's call and quiet whispers to me. Our study begins in 2 weeks, and I'll be leading the first two sessions as Susie is out of town.